


Haikyuu!! on Crack

by Ripples_in_Darkness



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Is So Done, Bad Jokes, Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia References, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Bokuto Koutarou Being Bokuto Koutarou, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, How Do I Tag, Iwaizumi Hajime Is So Done, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Memes, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, Oikawa Tooru Likes Aliens, Oikawa Tooru Likes Outer Space, Oikawa Tooru is a Mess, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pokemon References, Summoning, Summoning Circles, Sunburn, TikTok, Volleyball, Volleyball Dorks & Nerds, literally why did i do this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25939165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ripples_in_Darkness/pseuds/Ripples_in_Darkness
Summary: Burntkuto: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAChurro: AAAAAAAAAA‽‽‽Chat fic where Kuroo and Bokuto act like the bros they were meant to be, and Yaku is the sane person who tries to keep Lev in check. May or may not summon a wild Oikawa with a magic circle of milk bread. Akaashi and Iwa-chan are there too, but they're summoned to do damage control.No plot with 110% crack in this fic that DEFINITELY takes place out of canon.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou & Oikawa Tooru, Haiba Lev & Yaku Morisuke, Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou & Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	1. Redskin Potatoes

Bokuto, Kuroo, Yaku, Lev

Mon, July 20, 10:46pm

**Bokuto:**

I have transformed into a tomato

**Kuroo:**

Uh

Wut

**Bokuto:**

I’m really sunburnt

**Kuroo:**

Ooooooof

I need pic

**Bokuto:**

My legs are like super red

**Kuroo:**

Food coloring red?

**Bokuto:**

You should see the line between my normal skin and red skin

**Kuroo:**

I wanna seeeeee

**Bokuto:**

Hoot hoot I’m a red skin potato

**Kuroo:**

Can I see? I wanna see.

**Bokuto:**

The lightning’s not good but sure

**Kuroo:**

I wanna see my potato bro

I wanna see.

Let. Me. S e e e e e

**Bokuto:**

K I found better lighting

**Kuroo:**

Noice

**Bokuto:**

[red sunburnt hand]

Hand

**Kuroo:**

Wow

Compared to?

**Bokuto:**

[red sunburnt legs against pasty white thighs]

Legs

**Kuroo:**

WOAH.

**Bokuto:**

Yah

**Kuroo:**

YOUR THIGHS VS YOUR LEGS.

I-

DID YOU USE SUNBLOCK

**Kuroo** changed **Bokuto** 's name to **Burntkuto**

**Burntkuto:**

Fair

**Burntkuto** changed **Kuroo** 's name to **Churro**

**Churro:**

Also fair

**Burntkuto:**

Red skin potato mode activated

I DID USE SUNSCREEN JUST NOT ENOUGH APPARENTLY

**Churro:**

BRO WHERE DID YOU GO?

**Burntkuto:**

A RIVER

I went kayaking for like 3 ½ hours

**Churro:**

GOSH WHAT HAPPENED THERE. DID ALL OF THE SUNSCREEN WASH OFF?

**Burntkuto:**

It probably did wash off. I got in some rapids and got kinda wet

**Churro:**

Please be safe and put some cream on it.

**Burntkuto:**

I dont have any

**Churro:**

No lotion or anything. Cream.

Oof.

**Burntkuto:**

Yeah I put some cold water on it

Dont think that did anything

**Churro:**

Rough. It’s gonna start peeling in a day or so I bet

**Burntkuto:**

And tomorrow I’m going hiking again (Ｔ＿Ｔ)

I better not get more sunburnt

**Churro:**

If water runs over it then it gets rid of some of the burn and releases some of the heat in it to help it heal faster

Use cold water

**Burntkuto:**

Oof. Well I just took a hot shower so uhh I probably made it worse

**Churro:**

It also keeps it moisturized a little bit to reduce peeling but any water will for that

**Burntkuto:**

And then I dripped some cold water on it later after realizing my mistake. It probably did nothing

**Churro:**

Just dont try to peel the skin cause it makes it worse

**Burntkuto:**

Yeah

Im just gonna hope it’ll be more decent by the morning

Also it’s kinda painful

**Churro:**

When I had sunburn it went away in a day or so

I also do heal kinda fast tho

**Burntkuto:**

Ive been sunburnt before, but never this much

Its usually been my shoulders neck and or face getting burnt instead

**Churro:**

Yeah the little piece I had was bad enough

The tan on the back of my neck from the beach luckily went away

That was pretty bad. I dont usually burn tho

**Burntkuto:**

How do you even know sunburn care

**Churro:**

Im not about to get cancer from the sun

Also id recommend not drinking Snapple. It causes cancer

**Yaku:**

Rip Bokuto

**Churro:**

OH THIS WAS NOT A PRIVATE CHAT

**Burntkuto:**

YEAH

**Yaku:**

Did you not know

**Churro:**

OOOPS. NOW MY WISH TO SEE MY POTATO BRO IS PUBLIC

I-

**Burntkuto:**

Hahahaha

HOoT HoOT

**Churro:**

H H H H H H H H H OOPS

**Yaku:**

What…

**Churro:**

Hey.

We’re all online together, do you wanna play saoif?

**Burntkuto:**

You say h h h h h instead of hahaha lately. Are you afraid of the letter a or something?

**Churro:**

A

A

A

A

A

A

Aa

**Burntkuto:**

a

aa

**Churro:**

AA

**Burntkuto:**

AAA

**Churro:**

AAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

**Burntkuto:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Churro:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Yaku:**

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7jpe8DLV88 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7jpe8DLV88)

**Burntkuto:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Churro:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Burntkuto:**

Ok that’s enough for today

**Churro:**

No.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Burntkuto:**

Your gonna destroy my ear drums if you keep this up

**Churro:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA… >

Wow its too long

**Burntkuto:**

Haha. It reduces you to the arrow thing

**Yaku:**

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA… >

**Burntkuto:**

You too

**Churro:**

Yaku won

*bows and admits defeat*

**Burntkuto:**

He always wins

**Yaku:**

Yes.

**Churro:**

Yeah

**Yaku:**

Correct

**Churro:**

Wanna play SAOIF?

Why does everyone leave whenever I ask that?

**Burntkuto:**

I mean I could but I can’t call. So if you wanna keep chatting then no. Otherwise yes

**Churro:**

Lol it’s fine I dont always need to call its just easier

**Burntkuto:**

You know maybe they’re afraid of getting roped into grinding for 2 hours?

Idk

**Churro:**

Lol true I do that a lot

Imma go online now

Join if you want

**Burntkuto:**

Oh waif I just remembered I have to get up early tomorrow

**Churro:**

Oh.

**Burntkuto:**

I should really go to bed in a few minutes

**Churro:**

Ok. I’ll play by myself in a corner.

**Burntkuto:**

Yes. Go be like Kenma.

Also I’m tryna go on this hike before the rain comes in tomorrow

**Churro:**

Oh. Ok.

Im so loved

:(

**Yaku:**

You broke Kuroo, Bokuto.

**Burntkuto:**

Anyways, happy gaming

You were being silent, Yaku not much better

**Churro:**

Oh

Wow bro

*silence*

**Burntkuto:**

*stab stab*

Goodnight

**Churro:**

*strangled cat noise*

Unloved.

Dost thou hate me so that the blood moveth not to supply the brain its due oxygen?

**Yaku:**

Sorry I am watching YouTube and not paying attention

**Churro** changed **Yaku** to **Yeetku**

**Yeetku:**

Why?

**Churro:**

Someone needed to be sacrificed

**Yeetku:**

Fine. I'll keep it.

**Churro:**

You like it

**Yeetku:**

But it should’ve been you. You deserve it.

**Churro:**

*sadness*

**Yeetku:**

Idk if I want to play SAOIF but I’m fine just to talk or something else

**Churro:**

Lol it’s fine u can keep watching YouTube

**Burntkuto:**

Just like how you can’t see the blood flowing through your veins to supply oxygen, you can’t see us, but we’re still there

**Churro:**

Awwww

BRO ㅠvㅠ

**Yeetku:**

Unless you stab the veins

Then you can see the blood

**Churro:**

Uhhhh

maybe not… i don’t support the idea of self harm, thank you very much

**Burntkuto:**

Well then we can just do the stabbing for you

**Yeetku:**

Well i mean

**Churro:**

I just realized how much I say “oh”

**Burntkuto:**

Oh

**Churro:**

OH

**Burntkuto:**

OHO

**Churro:**

OHOHO

Well I mean I-

Uhm.

Welp. I’ll be online in case people wanna play

**Yeetku:**

But

**Burntkuto:**

Why do my texts take so long to reach you guys

**Churro:**

Idk

**Yeetku:**

✨for science✨

As Lev would probably day

*say

**Churro:**

Hes a Tiktok possessed height monster

My texts seem to reach pretty fast

**Burntkuto:**

Nvm I guess it is fairly up to speed

**Churro:**

Lol okay

**Burntkuto:**

Oh yeah another section of my phone case broke

Now I can make mini antennas with it

**Churro:**

Cool

Hey can I get you a new one please???

**Burntkuto:**

Uhh sure? Idk I was probably gonna use some of my birthday money or something but if you want to them go ahead

**Churro:**

Like a phone case. For Christmas. From me to you. As a gift… or something.

What do you like?

**Burntkuto:**

Cases

**Churro:**

No dip

Actually, remind me before Christmas. I’ll forget what you tell me

**Burntkuto:**

And we already taste Christmas gifts. Why did you make that sound so weird

*trade

**Churro:**

Idk

**Burntkuto:**

Well now I definitely should go to bed

Goodnight son

**Yeetku:**

Goodnight…

Mother???

**Burntkuto:**

Uhh I was talking to Kuroo but you too

**Churro:**

Goodnight bro

Can I adopt you too? Ive already adopted Bokuto….

Welcome to the family Yaku

**Burntkuto:**

Bruh

**Yeetku:**

Uhhh

Ok

**Burntkuto:**

We established this earlier

I am the mom

Besides I’m older than you by 2 months

**Churro:**

Uhm. No

I called you son first

**Burntkuto:**

Fine

**Lev:**

I-

**Yeetku:**

Neither of you would make good moms

**Lev:**

My phone has blown up

**Churro:**

HELLO

**Burntkuto:**

Goodnight bro

**Yeetku:**

………..

**Churro:**

Goodnight bro

**Burntkuto:**

Yeah sorry about that Lev

**Churro:**

Nah you deserved it

**Churro** changed **Lev** ’s name to **Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe**

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

I-

What

Oh

Ok

I scrolled up to see your burnt skin ｡ﾟ( * > w < * )ﾟ｡

Are you ok?

**Churro:**

Lol

No, he’s not

**Burntkuto:**

Yah

**Churro:**

It’ll be painful to sleep bro

**Burntkuto:**

Guess I’m not going to bed after all pt. 2

**Churro:**

Children need to go to bed.

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

What?

Children are short

Im not short cuz im ace

**Churro:**

Oho?

**Burntkuto:**

Im not short

Ask akaashi

**Churro:**

True

**Yeetku:**

Are you saying I'm a child? That I'm short?

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Yes? I am anyways

Everyone here is too tall to be a kid

**Yeetku:**

Time for you to die

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Uh

**Yeetku:**

I know where you live

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

WAIT

I-

Im sorry

Dont leave me here

Kuroo?

Bokuto?

**Churro:**

Youre on your own

**Burntkuto:**

Yeah im going to bed

Bye

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Help me

Hey

Hey

Dont let me die

Mon, July 20, 11:53pm

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Guys

I-

Send helzsdcsKkncskzksLzja,ZHDCAKS

This is Yaku

The giraffe has paid for its sins

**Churro:**

Rip lev


	2. Pokemon Leg Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fun day filled with Pokemon parodies and leg days, where the local giraffe goes on Vogue but his legs were just tooooooooo looooooonggggg. Also, bnha reference because i can. fight me.

Bokuto, Kuroo, Yaku, Lev

Wed, July 22, 9:57pm

**Churro:**

Bro

**Burntkuto:**

Bro

**Churro:**

BRO

**Burntkuto:**

BRO

**Churro:**

BROHO

**Burntkuto:**

BROHOHO

**Churro:**

We need a cool name for this chat

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe** has changed chat name to  **TikTok Dance Party**

**Churro:**

No

**Burntkuto:**

No

**Yeetku:**

No.

**Yeetku** has changed chat name to **Giraffe Hunting**

**Churro:**

Lol

_ **TikTok Obsessed Giraffe** _ **:**

Why do I feel like you’re trying to attack me

**Yeetku:**

You shouldn't feel that way. We're not even attacking you.

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Aw thanks!

**Yeetku:**

We're hunting you.

_**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:** _

THATS NOT ANY BETTER Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

**Burntkuto:**

Efk apubcqdpiceicnaokaoxjsifhworvubqou xka~;"and:83?

**Churro:**

U good bro?

**Burntkuto:**

My phone screen looked crap

**Yeetku:**

Then change your trashy wallpaper

**Burntkuto:**

IT IS NOT TRASHY .——.

**Yeetku:**

A picture of an upside down dog in an owl costume sleeping on a pillow is trash.

**Burntkuto:**

*Affronted hoot*

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

It should be a picture of me. Because I am ace

**Churro:**

God no thatd be awful

**Burntkuto:**

At least my background isnt an edited picture of myself holding a french baguette with a mustache

**Churro:**

I thought we were bros (T_T)

My wallpaper is beautiful

**Yeetku:**

I’m seriously beginning to rethink my choice of friends

**TikTok Obssessed Giraffe:**

OMG YOU CALLED US UR FRIENDS

**Yeetku** has left  **Giraffe Hunting**

**Churro:**

Get back here

**Burntkuto:**

ComE HEre bRO

**Burntkuto** has added  **Yeetku** to  **Giraffe Hunting**

**Churro:**

There is no escape

**Burntkuto:**

Welcome to hell

**Churro** has changed chat name to  **HELL (΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)**

**Yeetku:**

Without Akaashi here to reign you in it really is hell

**Burntkuto:**

That’s a great idea!!!

**Burntkuto** has added  **Akaashi** to  **HELL (΄◉◞౪◟◉｀)**

**Akaashi:**

What the hell

**Burntkuto:**

Hi Akaashi!!!

**Churro:**

Lol. Hell

**Yeetku:**

Bless the Lord

**Burntkuto:**

Isn't it kinda weird to be doing that in hell?

**Yeetku:**

Idk is it?

**Churro:**

I think youd be in too much pain to be doing that

**Yeetku:**

True

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Unless you were a ✨demon lord✨

**Akaashi:**

Who is that?

**Yeetku:**

Lev

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

I am ace

**Yeetku:**

No you aren’t. Stfu

**Burntkuto:**

No cursing here. There are children.

**Churro:**

*cough* Lev *cough*

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

Me?!

Im too tall to be a child

I’ve got long legs

To the point where im literally a model

They tried to put me on the cover of Vogue. But my legs were just TOOOOO LONGGGGGG

**Burntkuto:**

Everyday is leg day

Monday tuesday wednesday 

Thighs calves all the way

**Akaashi:**

Again I repeat: what the hell

**Churro:**

Moving on

Akaashi needs a nickname

**Burntkuto** changed  **Akaashi** 's name to  **akaACHOO**

**akaACHOO:**

why?

I don’t have corona

**Churro:**

Because you need to be blessed with a sense of humor, akaACHOO

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Bless you!

**Burntkuto:**

Why are we still blessing in hell?

THIS IS HELL

**Yeetku:**

Not while Akaashi's here to stop you.

Tell them to stop

**akaACHOO:**

Bokuto, stop

**Burntkuto:**

Right!

**Yeetku** has changed  **akaACHOO** ’s name to  **Savior Akaashi**

**Yeetku** has changed chat name to  **A More Bearable Version Of Hell**

**Churro:**

Really?

Nah bro I thought you were on my side

**Yeetku:**

Begone thot

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

*YeeEET*

YOU DONE BEEN YOTE

**Churro:**

Quick, bro!

Grab my hand!

**Burntkuto:**

Okay bro!

*Grabs hand*

**Churro:**

gotTA BLAST

**Burntkuto:**

*blasts off in sparkles and owls*

HoOT

**Churro:**

We’re goin on a trip

**Burntkuto:**

in our FAVORITE ROCKETCHIP

**Churro:**

FLYIN THRU THE SKIES

**Burntkuto:**

LITTLE EINSTEINS

**Yeetku:**

Wow look at em go

**Churro:**

But on another note, we aint gone yet!

**Burntkuto:**

We just getting back!

**T** **ikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

OH ITS LIKE YOUR ALIENS

Oikawa would love that

Did you know he has underwear with aliens on it????

**Yeetku:**

*you’re

Why do you even know that

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

He told me

**Savior Akaashi:**

Why would he tell you that

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

I dunno

**Yeetku:**

I don't know how to feel about that

**Churro:**

What do ya mean

Thats normal bro talk

Like mine has erlenmeyer flasks on it and Bokuto’s has owls

**Savior Akaashi:**

I just don't-

**Burntkuto:**

Hey what if we get alien underwear for oikawa for christmas

**Churro:**

Thats a good idea bro!

**Burntkuto:**

Thanks bro!

**Churro:**

Youre welcome bro!

**Burntkuto:**

Bro!

**Churro:**

BRO!!

**Burntkuto:**

BRO!!!!

**Churro:**

BROOO!!!!!!!

**Burntkuto:**

BROOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

**Savior Akaashi:**

Stop please

**Yeetku:**

Thanks Akaashi

**Savior Akaashi:**

It was getting annoying

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

I thought it was funny!

**Churro:**

We can do it again if you want!

**Yeetku:**

Stop

**Savior Akaashi:**

NO

bokuto don't listen

**Burntkuto:**

Okay!

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

How come you always listen to Akaashi, Bokuto?

**Burntkuto:**

Cause he's my husband

**Savior Akaashi:**

No I'm not

**Burntkuto:**

Yes you are don't deny it

We are getting married

Actually I already consider us married

**Savior Akaashi:**

I don't

**Burntkuto:**

We'll have a wedding soon

**Churro:**

Bro can I be the best man!?!?

**Burntkuto:**

YES BRO

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

I CAN BE THE WEDDIDNG PLANNNER!!!

**Yeetku:**

Gosh no. You’ll just make everything TikTok themed

And I really don’t want to see you renegading to “here comes the bride”

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

But I can make it ✨nice✨

**Yeetku:**

NO.

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

BUT I-

I CAN-

**Yeetku:**

NO CHILD.

**Savior Akaashi:**

I agree that Lev would be a terrible wedding planner but still

Why does it sound like you support the wedding?

**Yeetku:**

Cause I do

**Churro:**

Top 10 anime betrayals

**Savior Akaashi:**

You make it sound like we're in an anime

**Burntkuto:**

Because we are and in another universe people are watching us

And we're actually in an anime and just don't know it

**Churro:**

I-

BRO. NOT THE 4TH WALL

**Yeetku:**

Rip fourth wall 2k20

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

RIP

**Burntkuto:**

And our whole lives act as meme materials to further the meme economy and boost it for more diverse memes

**Churro:**

We been knew

I was born a meme

**Burntkuto:**

Our lives are a joke

**Churro:**

Rip

**Savior Akaashi:**

You're a joke

**Burntkuto:**

I mean

*Enters emo mode*

**Yeetku:**

There he goes

**Churro:**

Bro!

Bro!

Answer me!

**Burntkuto:**

Don't talk to me anymore…

I can't make anymore good memes…

I’m no longer fit to be called a humorous man...

**Churro:**

*Tears*

Bro!! You gotta wake up!

Don't leave me all alone

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

*Sobs*

**Churro:**

*Cries*

Wait come back..!

**Burntkuto:**

*Silence*

**Churro:**

Bro, Im so sorry..!

**Burntkuto:**

*Silence*

**Churro:**

*Sadness*

**Burntkuto:**

No bro…

What I wanted you to say back then was…

**Churro:**

*sadness*

**Burntkuto:**

You can be a MEME

**Churro:**

*Wails*

**Yeetku:**

Wow

Was that a blatant reference to bnha?

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

*Sobs*

That was… that was so beautiful

You really can be a hero of the meme economy bokuto

**Yeetku:**

Symbol of peace in an economy of recycled memes

**Churro:**

I tried so hard bro

**Burntkuto:**

Don't worry bro

I just wanna be the best

Like no one ever was

To be memeable is my request

To make memes is my cause~

**Churro:**

I will travel across the web

Searching far and wide

**Burntkuto:**

Every meme that I create

Holds the power of God and anime inside

**Yeetku:**

That's too many words

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Oop

**Churro:**

MEMEABLE!!

**Burntkuto:**

Gotta make em all!

**Churro:**

Us bros so cool~

**Burntkuto:**

Our broship will pull us through

**Savior Akaashi:**

Why.

**Churro:**

Toss to me and I'll toss to you

**Savior Akaashi:**

Kuroo isn't a setter

**Burntkuto:**

BRO-KE-MON~

**Churro:**

Gotta make em all!

**Burntkuto:**

BROKEMON

**Churro:**

Burntkuto, I CHOOSE YOU!!!

**Yeetku:**

Smh

Wow I thought you would leave Burntkuto for Akaashi. The disappointment

Are you really trying to destroy their relationship

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

OOP

WAIT-

TEAAAAAAAA

SPILL.

**Savior Akaashi:**

And why do you think I would want him?

He’s all yours Kuroo

**Churro:**

Aww thanks

**Burntkuto**

Wait Akaashi I-

We can make this work!

**Savior Akaashi** has left  **A More Bearable Version of Hell**

**Yeetku:**

Oof, a divorce

**Churro:**

Wait this might actually kill him

**Burntkuto:**

*extreme emo mode activated*

Theres nothing left for me in life…

Im sorry guys… but I just dont think I can get through this

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

ITS OK BOKUTO.

[ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EHQZkSIxGdE ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EHQZkSIxGdE)

**Yeetku:**

You’re not helping

**Churro:**

Bro

bro

BRO

Oh gosh this is bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was gonna do the whole parody, but then I looked at the pokemon song and was like "holy crap nope, not doing that!" so i omitted very large sections cause my lazy self didnt wanna do all the work. Also managed to put quite a few references in there, an Im not really sure how everything transitioned smoothly even though it was completely two different topics, but it a chat (which explains literally nothing), so what did I expect???
> 
> Also *gasp* will Bokuto be okay??? i mean, they can always dial 911 for their savior Akaashi, so i wouldnt worry too much.


	3. Therapeutic Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto was literally in the process of a breakdown, before the their local neighborhood savior Akaashi came and saved Bokuto from despair while inadvertently confessing his love for Bokuto, which, of course, makes everything automatically better.

**Churro:**

Bokuto

Its been 2 days bro

You okay?

**Burntkuto** has changed chat name to  **Hell. This is hell. Why? Because Akashi doesnt love me anymore. I cant believe he would just divorce me like that! (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) My tears are more than the entirety of the Pacific Ocean, my depression deeper than the Mariana Trench, my heatbrokeness more broken than Oikawa’s at never making it to Nationals, my emoness worse than ever experienced in any practice or game. How can I go on? Am I doomed to live as a single man my whole life, rejected by my husband and ignored by him as well? Oh wait, he isn’t even my husband anymore, cause he divorced me… *wail***

**Yeetku:**

That’s… quite the chat name

But ig at least you’re talking now.

**Churro:**

Thats not really any better but sure ok

**Yeetku:**

At least his intelligence hasn't gone away along with his will to live

If he's going to be like this, this would be a  _ less  _ bearable version of hell.

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

Oop

**Yeetku:**

You're still not helping.

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

Like, how do we fix him???

Duct tape?

WD40?

**Churro:**

You have to do something that our Lord and savior Akaashi would do

Something magical

...or something

**Yeetku:**

I think the only fix is to bring Akaashi back

Bokuto better not be lurking

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

I'll summon him back

**Churro:**

Do you really think it’ll work?

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe** added  **Savior Akaashi** to  **Hell. This is hell. Why? Because Akashi doesnt love me anymore. I cant believe he would just divorce me like that! (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) My tears are more than the entirety of the Pacific Ocean, my depression deeper than the Mariana Trench, my heatbrokeness more broken than Oikawa’s at never making it to Nationals, my emoness worse than ever experienced in any practice or game. How can I go on? Am I doomed to live as a single man my whole life, rejected by my husband and ignored by him as well? Oh wait, he isn’t even my husband anymore, cause he divorced me… *wail***

**Yeetku:**

Akaashi.

**Savior Akaashi:**

Why did you summon me.

**Yeetku:**

We need you to do emergency damage control. Bokuto broke and we can't fix him

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Work your magic Akaashi!!!

**Churro:**

I need you to save my bro!!!

**Savior Akaashi:**

Fine. But only because it’s annoying that he’s being depressed because he thinks I don't love him anymore and it might affect volleyball.

Bokuto.

**Churro:**

Bro! Brobrobrobrobro!!!!

**Savior Akaashi:**

Bokuto. Get back here please

**Burntkuto:**

Akaashi my love ｡･ﾟ･(ﾉД`)･ﾟ･｡

Please come back to me…

Give me another chance..!

**Savior Akaashi:**

Don't tell me you left to go into full out emo mode because you think I divorced you and don't love you anymore. I'm perfectly fine with you pretending to be my husband if you play good on the court so I can give you tosses.

**Burntkuto:**

Akaashi…

*sniffle*

I love you so much…

**Churro:**

Bro are you with us again?

It was scary losing you there for a bit

**Yeetku:**

Can someone change the chat name?

**Churro:**

Why is that what you're concerned about?

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe** changed chat name to **We Love You Brokuto**

**Yeetku:**

Very kind, but I think we can do better.

**Yeetku** changed chat name to  **Bokuto's Therapeutic Session with Akaashi**

**Savior Akaashi:**

I suppose that’s an accurate description. As long as Bokuto is happy it’s ok ig

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

*Sniff* that's so considerate Akaashi

**Savior Akaashi:**

I try.

**Burntkuto:**

We're still together right???

**Savior Akaashi:**

Sure.

**Burntkuto:**

Awwww, ilysm Akaashi

(人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+

**Savior Akaashi:**

You too. I'm gonna go now

**Churro:**

Thank you so much Akaashi!!!

Forever indebted to you for saving my bro

**Burntkuto:**

I love you Akaashi

(*˘︶˘*).｡*♡

**Yeetku:**

Thanks for fixing him and arriving when summoned.

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Thank you so much Akaashi!!!

**Savior Akaashi:**

You're welcome. Bye

**Churro:**

You should probably stay in the chat and be on call.

**Savior Akaashi:**

Okay.

**Churro:**

You good Brokuto?

**Burntkuto:**

I'm wonderful

Amazing

Perfect

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

I'm so glad he's better cause it's weird when bokuto isn't here

**Churro:**

I agree

I MISSED MY BRO

**Burntkuto:**

BRO

Oh yeah, so my sunburn doesn’t hurt anymore, but it started peeling yesterday

**Churro:**

Resist the urge to peel it

Resisssssttttttttttt

**Burntkuto:**

Sorry man I already did it

I thought that maybe peeling away the skin would help me peel away my depression

Turns out that my lovely Akaashi is the only cure for me (・∀・)

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

How sweet (๑>◡<๑)

**Yeetku:**

That’s not how it works…

**Churro:**

Beautiful analogy

Heartwarming story

Amazing diction

A+++++++

**Burntkuto:**

Thank you bro

Now if only my English teacher would say that to me too ಥ_ಥ

**Churro:**

One day bro

One day she will come to recognize your talented writing ability

**Yeetku:**

From what I’ve seen his writing literally looks like chicken scratch

I’m not surprised she grades his handwritten stuff poorly

Actually nvm you probably just get bad grades cause ur stupid

**TikTok Obssesed Giraffe:**

DANGGGGGG

That was cold

**Burntkuto:**

You’re right. I’m dumb. I’m unfit to be around you smart people. Don’t hang out with me anymore!

**Savior Akaashi:**

He’s gone in emo mode again.

Look what you did.

It’s ok Bokuto, at least ur good at volleyball

**Burntkuto:**

Hey hey hey! Youre right! I’m one of the top aces in Japan!

**Churro:**

Akaashi must be a freaking psychic if he can literally fix bokuto in like .2 seconds

Also where did you randomly appear from?

I thought you left

**Savior Akaashi:**

Well I did but I’m back now

**Burntkuto:**

Bro it's cause he's my magical husband.

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Lol he's ✨magical✨

**Churro:**

Magical~

Wow~!

**Burntkuto:**

My magical husband

*Proud vibes*

**Yeetku:**

Your husband must love owls

**Burntkuto:**

Oh yes

Proud of my owl heritage

**Churro:**

Much pride

**Burntkuto:**

So proud bro

**Churro:**

Yes bro

**Burntkuto:**

Bro

**Churro:**

Bro!

**Burntkuto:**

BRO!

**Churro:**

B R O !!!

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

ALFASKFJAJD

**Churro:**

U good??

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Hold up.

Are we just gonna ignore this???

[ _ Burntkuto _

Awwww, ilysm Akaashi

(人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+

**Savior Akaashi:**

You too. I'm gonna go now]

**Yeetku:**

What are we ignoring?

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

SO WE WERE!?!?

We were going to IGNORE the fact that akaashi said he loved bokuto back!?!?!?!

**Burntkuto:**

ALFHAKFJAK

I NEVER NOTICED

OMG I LOVE YOU TOO AKAASHI

**Churro:**

Bro, the ship has sailed.

**Burntkuto:**

Yes bro(≧∀≦)

**Savior** **Akaashi:**

I think I’ll take this as a sign to leave

**Burntkuto:**

Noooo

Stayyyyyy (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

**Churro:**

Yeah cmon man

**Savior Akaashi:**

Ok fine

Whatever I’ll stay

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe :**

[ https://m.tiktok.com/v/6828660238116310278.html?u_code=d7eh9462if22ae&preview_pb=0&language=en&_d=d812m2239a38el&timestamp=1589948515&utm_campaign=client_share&app=musically&utm_medium=ios&user_id=6719935207962641413&tt_from=sms&utm_source=sms ](https://m.tiktok.com/v/6828660238116310278.html?u_code=d7eh9462if22ae&preview_pb=0&language=en&_d=d812m2239a38el&timestamp=1589948515&utm_campaign=client_share&app=musically&utm_medium=ios&user_id=6719935207962641413&tt_from=sms&utm_source=sms)

GUYS! WERE AN ACCEPTABLE SIZED FRIEND GROUP

**Yeetku:**

Why is that link so long

**Churro:**

Yeah it’s like 4 lines long

Lol

**Burntkuto:**

This group was just meant to be

So sweet ｡ﾟ( ﾟஇ‸இﾟ)ﾟ｡

**Churro:**

Ik bro (இ﹏இ`｡)

**Savior Akaashi:**

Why are y’all being so dramatic. Lol

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

You know, this group is almost too good…

I think we need to make it a little sus

**Churro:**

Huh?

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

The video!

**Yeetku:**

Oh no you better not add some problematic child

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe** has added  **Kenma** to  **Bokuto's Therapeutic Session with Akaashi**

  
  


**Churro:**

Pudding!

Hiiiii

**Kenma** has left  **Bokuto's Therapeutic Session with Akaashi**

**Savior Akaashi:**

Oof. He didn’t even say a word

**Yeetku:**

That's rough buddy

My condolences

**Burntkuto:**

Dang

Hey if you need me bro you know I gotchu

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Im sorry TT

**Churro:**

Im in ✨pain✨

**Savior Akaashi:**

He broke

**_Yeetku:_ **

Oh no

Not this again

Please Lev no

Don’t do it

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

[ https://m.tiktok.com/v/6856619449093459205.html?_d=secCgsIARCbDRgBIAIoARI%2BCjzWrpRu0fw7F8PPr3rrXgmMxJ0nkFNdzI%2Fjo7eaI0FH2wIrKz9mPg1UaDSuqE%2Fl%2F4AYd37velVWXC60YPMaAA%3D%3D&language=en&preview_pb=0&share_item_id=6856619449093459205&timestamp=1596596119&tt_from=sms&u_code=d8m4654dd7c6jb&user_id=6748928435449644037&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=sms ](https://m.tiktok.com/v/6856619449093459205.html?_d=secCgsIARCbDRgBIAIoARI%2BCjzWrpRu0fw7F8PPr3rrXgmMxJ0nkFNdzI%2Fjo7eaI0FH2wIrKz9mPg1UaDSuqE%2Fl%2F4AYd37velVWXC60YPMaAA%3D%3D&language=en&preview_pb=0&share_item_id=6856619449093459205&timestamp=1596596119&tt_from=sms&u_code=d8m4654dd7c6jb&user_id=6748928435449644037&utm_campaign=client_share&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=sms)

**Churro:**

Lol I saw that

**Burntkuto:**

Im confused

What that about

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Well you see

**Yeetku:**

No

**Yeetku** removed  **Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe** from  **Bokuto's Therapeutic Session with Akaashi**

**Yeetku:**

Finally some peace and quiet

**Savior Akaashi:**

Dang Yaku

I thought you’d just leave yourself instead

**Yeetku:**

Those idiots would just add me back in

**Burntkuto:**

Rip Lev

Hey Kuroo bro, what’s the video mean

Kuroo

Bro

BRO

BROO

*sniff*

I cant believe hed leave me like that

**Savior Akaashi:**

He probably just had to use the restroom or something

**Burntkuto:**

U right

And I have u!

(・∀・)

**Yeetku:**

I don’t need to be listening to this crap

Goodnight

**Burntkuto:**

What?! Its not even late yet!!!

**Churro:**

Brooooooo

Im back

Sorry about that had to take a dump

**Savior Akaashi:**

Called it

**Burntkuto:**

Broooooooooooo

**Churro:**

Bro I just read through what I missed and rip Lev

**Churro** added  **Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe** to  **Bokuto's Therapeutic Session with Akaashi**

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

WHO REMOVED ME???!?!

**Churro:**

Yaku

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Bruh

Top 10 anime betrayals

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe** changed  **Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe** ’s name to **Sad boi hours**

**Churro:**

Rip fourth wall

Again

**Burntkuto:**

Rip

**Yeetku:**

The sacrifice was made.

**Sad boi hours** changed chat name to  **Why Yaku? WHY??? I cant believe youd do this to me. *sniff* Why you gotta be so rude~ And I thought we were friends! I now understand Bokuto’s pain, cuz now I’m ✨in pain✨too (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`) Its depressing. I am now depresso no espresso. *sadness***

**Yeetku:**

Oh no. Not a repeat of this

**Savior Akaashi :**

To be fair it was Bokuto who did it last time and not him

**Yeetku:**

Still

Anyways Lev, how about I don’t yell at you as much tomorrow for your sloppy performances? Is that good?

**Sad boi hours:**

You called my performance sloppy *cri*

I AM FUTURE ACE

**Yeetku:**

So you’d rather me yell though more? Ok cool

**Sad boi hours:**

Nononononono

Please dont yell at me

I’m sorry

**Churro:**

Lol wut

Shouldn't Yaku be apologizing to you instead???

**Sad boi hours:**

Ill do anything to be for forgiveness Ill even prostate myself on the ground before you

**Churro:**

What the frick

**Sad boi hours:**

*Prostrate

**Yeetku:**

Dude it's fine, just spell stuff right

**Sad boi hours:**

Look here you-

**Burntkuto:**

Bruh I was like what the heckie

**Sad boi hours:**

I was TyPIng fASt

**Savior Akaashi:**

Make sure to spell right kids.

**Sad boi hours:**

Why don't you guys love me?!?!!

**Burntkuto:**

We do!!

Akaashi and I can adopt you!!! I've already adopted daichis sunshine child!!

**Savior Akaashi:**

No we haven't. We can't legally adopt anyone.

**Yeetku:**

This is one heck of a dysfunctional family.

**Sad boi hours** changed their name to  **Bokuto Jr.**

_ Yeetku _

God no.

**Yeetku** changed  **Bokuto Jr.** 's name to  **TikTok Obsessed Giraffe**

**Churro:**

Bro lemme be the uncle

**Burntkuto:**

Okay bro. You'll be my bro

**Churro:**

Aww thanks bro

**Savior Akaashi:**

As the acting matriarch, it is my solemn duty to say no, we are not adoring anyone.

**Churro:**

Dang, shut down.

Wait a sec, you didn’t say you wouldnt adopt anyone!

U just said u wont love anyone

Wait oof thats worse

**Savior Akaashi:**

*adopt

Not adore

**Yeetku:**

“Make sure to spell right kids”

**Savior Akaashi :**

Shut up

**Burntkuto:**

Pleeeeeeaaaaaasseeereeeee?????

**Savior Akaashi:**

No

**Churro:**

Bro stop Akaashi always wins

**Burntkuto:**

True

I have a very unstoppable wife

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

That's so wired out of context

*Weird

**Yeetku:**

You made it weird

**Burntkuto:**

My unstoppable wife loves me very much

I love you Akaashi!!!

**Savior Akaashi:**

You too. Bye

**Burntkuto:**

Okay byee!!!

I luv u!!!!

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

SHIP

**Yeetku:**

Really random but I just realized that the gc is still that ridiculously long thing

**Yeetku** changed chat name to  **Dysfunctional Family**

**Churro:**

Dysfunctional?!

Have u not seen my amazing bro and his husband???

The literal best couple of the CENTURY??

**Yeetku:**

Yeah well as I said before I think it fits

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Bruh it kinda fits ngl

**Yeetku:**

Ikr

**Churro:**

How did we get from depressed Bokuto to dysfunctional family

**Yeetku:**

It’s cause this is a dysfunctional chat

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

I second that

**Churro:**

Third that

Wait where’s Bokuto?

Hey is Akaashi gone too?

**Burntkuto:**

He left

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

You thinkin what I’m thinkin?

Oh wait nvm

I thought they were goin off somewhere together

I was bouts be like “SHIPPP” but I guess not ⊙︿⊙

**Burntkuto:**

Huh???

**Yeetku:**

I was like, why are you thinking about that

They're "married" they can do stuff like that 

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Yeah ik but-

**Yeetku:**

You're supposed to be an innocent child they adopted or something.

Act like the innocent child you are

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Since when??????

**Churro:**

I-

**Burntkuto:**

Uh, I will not stand for my child to be corrupted

**Yeetku:**

I think you're too late for that

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

Like your not the same

**Churro:**

I mean-

**Burntkuto:**

Your not wrong……..

**Yeetku:**

Kuroo broke lol

**Burntkuto:**

Bruh r u okaaaaayyyyy

**Churro:**

Idkkkkkkkk

**Burntkuto:**

Brooooooo

**Churro:**

Brooooooooooooooooooooopooooo

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

No wait stop I didnt mean for it to go herr

**Burntkuto:**

BROOOO

**Churro:**

BROOOOOOO

**Burntkuto:**

BROOOOOOOOOO

**Churro:**

B R O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

**Yeetku:**

Make it staaaahhhhhp

**Churro:**

Fiiiiiiinnnnee

**Yeetku:**

Thanks

**Burntkuto:**

NOOOOOOOO

**Churro:**

BROIEST BRO

**Burntkuto:**

BROIEST OF BROS

**Yeetku:**

Aight imma head out

**TikTok Obsessed Giraffe:**

I mean I guess he's okay

OH GOSG ITS ALMOST ALREADY 1AM

WEVE BEEN TALKING FOR THIS LONG??!?

**Churro:**

Oh wow

Time flies when ur with ur bro

**Tiktok Obsessed Giraffe:**

IKR

im goin to bed now

Nighty night

**Churro:**

Aight

I think imma go to bed too now

**Burntkuto:**

Goodnight bro

**Churro:**

Sweet dreams bro

**Burntkuto:**

Night bro

**Churro:**

Bye bro

**Burntkuto:**

Sleep tight bro

**Churro:**

Dont let the bed bugs bite bro

**Yeetku:**

Go to sleep bro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally should write a wedding scene between the two of them lol with Lev renegading in the back. it would be freaking E P I C.
> 
> ...but alas, life is busy. Maybe someday.

**Author's Note:**

> Saoif is an actual game so go join my guild. The guild name is Anteiku and the guild code thingy is 1147841396. Come join us if you want for good times full of leveling up and boss hunting and exp farming.
> 
> Also dont follow my directions for helping sunburn thats just what I do and im not even sure if it makes it better or worse lol.


End file.
